Agnostic, NOT Atheist

by Jason Yenglin

It’s funny to me how some atheists or even theists call agnostics ‘lazy atheists’, when that statement in itself is lazy.

The people who say that obviously don’t know how hard it actually is to be agnostic. Most of us have come to this conclusion, or decision, after looking at so many sides of the argument, over many years or even decades of reading and hearing and thinking about so many of the possibilities.

There are thousands of gods that are or have been worshiped throughout human history. There has even been (and may still be), tribes that view airplanes as deities. Look it up if you like, they’re called ‘cargo cults’. While it is plainly (or planely? ha!) obvious to you and I that they are not objects of gods, these people did not or do not have a clear explanation of these seemingly magical objects, so they attempt to explain them the only way they know how.

Now, for the sake of argument, let’s break it down to the bare minimum, where there are only two possibilities:

1: There is a single creator who created the universe.

2: There is no creator, and the universe either created itself or was always here in some form or another.

I, as an agnostic, can objectively look at both sides and see that either is possible. One of them, I think, is more probable, but which one doesn’t even matter.

Let’s look at the first option from a perspective that we, as semi-civilized human beings at this particular point in time, can view through science, intelligent thought and deduction. We know that inside our bodies live bacteria. Lots of them. In Texas, we might say there’s a shitload of them. It’s a technical term. Now, let’s say, hypothetically, through either some cosmic twist or divine intervention, these bacteria not only begin to be self aware, but intelligent and capable of building and science and commerce. So, naturally, they would build their own versions of telescopes, right? Right.

What would they see? Considering how small they are compared to us, even though they wouldn’t see outside our bodies, they would see a vast universe, even if they were only able to view just a few centimeters outside the colon. So every single person would be a whole universe. And while we did not raise our hands and say “I shall now create thee, bacteria” and it was done, in a way, we were their creator. But we cannot communicate with them, and we did not purposefully create them, they simply exist because of us.

So, in order for a logical person to believe that there is a creator, or God, then that person would have to assume, given our knowledge of the world and how it works, that God did not purposefully create us, rather, we exist because of the universe, that is also him. For all we know, our entire universe could be the equivalent of a puddle of semen from an extremely advanced being. You may think ewww that’s gross, or whatever, but if you look at a drop of jizz under a microscope, you’ll see a world eerily similar to galaxies and solar systems. There are atoms in there, and an atom is made up of a bunch of particles, (hold onto your hats, ladies and gents) where a bunch of circular objects revolve around other circular objects. Sound familiar? Sit down, you’re thinking now. Sometimes it hurts at first.

On the other hand, there exists the possibility that there is no creator, that the universe has always existed, or that it came from nothing. Since I can’t wrap my tiny brain around how something could come from nothing, I’ll go with the former. That would mean that most likely, the big bang was something that happens over and over again. All matter is condensed through gravity into a tiny space, it gets to a certain point and explodes and expands. Eventually, it stops expanding and lies fairly dormant, then begins to contract, coming back to the point of that small space then BANG it happens all over again. This is a simplified version, the Cliff’s Notes, if you will, but I think you get the point.

Either way I see as logical points of view, even though they are somewhat opposed. I think what many atheists tend to do is focus on religion more than the concept of a creator. The creator doesn’t even have to be aware that we exist, let alone communicate with us or have some set of moral laws for us to abide by. And theists tend to focus on morals, saying the atheists have none, when obviously many atheists are good people who would never think of hurting anyone. You don’t have to believe in God or not believe to think that we should treat others how we would be wish to be treated.

If you really think about it and the many possibilities of what a creator of our universe could be, not just some dude sitting in the clouds who snapped his fingers and there we were, then maybe you wouldn’t be an atheist anymore. Or a theist, for that matter. You could be a single bacteria, worshiping a body that not only has no clue that you exist, but doesn’t give an eight of a shit about you.

So, being that there are an infinite number of possibilities and accepting that I am not a superhuman ultragenius know-it-all, I am agnostic, NOT atheist, and not even agnostic atheist. Just agnostic.

Now, discuss. I would love to read your input.