morning ritual

by Jason Alan

Get up.


Sleepwalk to the toilet. * Urinate.


Crawl to kitchen. * Set coffee to brew.


(The * represents a place where I might normally hit my toe or hand on something and curse at it. Quietly, though. I’m usually the first one up.)

Open browser (google chrome. Default pages gmail, wordpress and twitter) and OpenOffice. Respond to emails, comments and tweets if necessary.

Step outside. * Drink coffee and have a cigarette.

Yes, I know smoking is bad for me. Get off my back.

Attempt to write something. If I don’t feel like writing I’ll find something to edit that I’ve already written.

I haven’t been eating breakfast much lately. If I do I’ll have two or three cups of coffee first. Usually I’ll write or attempt to write for most of the day if there isn’t something else I have to do.

Now, this may sound like the life of a professional writer. Nope. I’m just unemployed. Given that, you may be asking why I’m doing these things all day when I could be out finding a job.

Because I moved from America to France. And I don’t speak French yet. Employers aren’t exactly jumping to hire someone who doesn’t speak the native tongue.

You may now be asking why the hell I did that. For love, of course!

I talked with a woman online for years and one day we decided to meet. I flew to France last year ever since then I’ve been back and forth going through the red tape of moving here. Now we’re married and I have my passport and visa, and I’ll be taking a French class soon.

So I figured since one day I would like to be working for myself or as close to it as I can get, I might as well get some writing done and try to build an audience while I have time.

When I do get a job I’ll see what I can do about advertising. Getting the word out about what I have for sale on amazon or wherever.

So if you like what I’m posting, these are the glory days. Enjoy them while you can, because one day I’ll be back in the workforce and won’t have time to post two or three times a day. Or even once a day, for that matter.

But if enough of you buy my stuff, I won’t have to go back to a mind numbing day job. No chance of that, huh? Yeah, I didn’t think so…