The Delusional Blogger Award

by Jason Alan

As a blogger and/or blog reader, you’ve probably seen a post where someone has received The One Lovely Blog Award, The Versatile Blogger Award or even the very inspiring Very Inspiring Blogger Award. But for every one of these lovely, versatile and inspiring people doing laps and playing Marco Polo, there are at least one or two who are pissing in the metaphorical pool.

You too, with practice, could one day be a self righteous, pompous jackass too.

In order to help point out these wonderful pillars of the community, I have officially created The Delusional Blogger Award.

That’s right. The great(?) thing about humanity is its ability to not only boldly reach for the stars but also to oh so gracefully scrape the bottom of the barrel. For every Einstein there is a Hitler. For every Michael Phelps there is a Megan Phelps. See how I worked in swimming again? Sometimes I think I’m so clever, this could very well backfire on me and I may one day receive this award myself. But that’s the price I’m willing to pay, for my art, for my craft.

So, with such an enormous variety and sheer number of blogs out there, who can be lofty enough to be presented with the very first award? Well, I must admit that it wasn’t an easy decision. With some seven billion people on this good ol’ spinning rock of ours, there is certainly no shortage of self righteous, pompous assbags out there.

Now I won’t go into great detail concerning what this particular blog is about, but the last post is concerning, and I quote, ‘the radical homosexual agenda’. Meaning, those evil gays attempting to (gasp!) obtain equal rights. The nerve of them wanting to get married and pray in the same church. Do they think that they are people or something? How dare they want equality. It’s like the women’s suffrage movement all over again, and we all know how that turned out. People all around the world thinking it’s ok for women to vote. How silly!

And now, all joking aside and without further ado, I hereby present to the writer(s) of exministries The Delusional Blogger Award. Congratulations and go fuck yourselves.