The Bullshitometer

by Jason Alan

People blog for various reasons. Some want to showcase their photographs or art, others write some type of fiction. Both of these have professionals who are doing it for more exposure, while others hope to go pro at some point, and then there are those who just do it because they love it and to connect with people who feel the same. There are also people who just post what they’re doing and some of the things they are seeing and then give the link to certain people like family and friends and that’s about it. Not everybody has a facebook page and you don’t have to sign in to see the blog and blah blah blah.

None of these are opinion blogs, so the bullshitometer does not apply to them. If sometimes an opinion post is thrown in to one of these, however, then that particular post is subject to a ranking on the bullshitometer. That is, of course, if the post is public.

Now, I have made it clear lately, especially on my twitter page, that I am not a fan of religious fundamentalists, or superstitious nutjobs, as I like to call them. But this post isn’t about religion per se, it just happens that I have been going to a lot of religion-based wordpress pages lately so I’ve seen more than a fair share of bullshit on them in particular.

This is my bullshitometer. There are many like it, but this one is mine.

So how does my bullshitometer work? You get two points if I think your opinion or belief is bullshit. While I am only one person, it’s my blog and my opinion, my -ometer, so therefore mine counts more than anyone else’s. Think that’s bullshit? By all means, feel free to rate me accordingly. You get one point for every comment on a post that says your bullshit is bullshit. You get one point if you claim a belief or opinion as fact, and an additional two points if you link or refer to a book or another blog that is not based in fact in an attempt to prove that your bullshit is fact. Also, you get a point for an extremely high percentage of comments of the same opinion from anonymous people who either don’t have a blog or choose not to link to it.

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You may be asking yourself, what really tips the proverbial excrement scale? What really makes the bullshitometer violently shatter from the extreme pressure of the voluminous amount of male bovine fecal matter? I’ll tell you what does. When someone publicly posts an opinion or belief, especially of inflammatory subjects such as religion, politics or a combination of the two, and does not approve ANY comments of differing opinion or belief. Especially the comments from people that go out of their way to be polite and respectful of said opinions.

Some of you may have seen the blog Ex Ministries, possibly because you read my post, which granted them the very first highly coveted The Delusional Blogger Award. This blog is an egregious example of posting controversial topics and allowing only comments that agree with the subject matter. The latest is about the subject of abortion. Think about it for a second. If you posted something today on either side of the abortion debate, do you think you would get over twenty comments with zero differing opinions? If you think so, then you get a couple of points and may be a future candidate for The Delusional Blogger Award.

I must clear something up, though. When I refer to blogs that don’t allow any differing opinions, I am not necessarily saying that I disagree with the topic itself. Whether I agree or not, I am saying that they don’t even believe their own bullshit. When one spreads lies, it behooves them to do everything in their power to keep anyone from exposing them as the frauds they are.

Have you ever been in an argument with a boyfriend or girlfriend, or anyone for that matter, and part of the way through you realize you’re wrong? But in the moment, you keep arguing anyway? Well, unless you’re a child who doesn’t know any better yet or a small-minded asshole, then you will come back later and apologize and/or admit that you were wrong. From that point the two people can move on, but it’s hard to actually do while you’re arguing. You’re stuck in that moment.

Some people are just stuck in that moment and can’t seem to escape it, spewing out their insane, irrational ideas and poisoning the minds of others no matter what, and for whatever reason refusing to admit that they are wrong. While I do pity them, I will gladly join the ranks of Penn and Teller and continue to do what I believe is my civic duty. To point out these narcissistic jerkoffs and put a spotlight on enormous piles of bullshit.