i am

by Jason Alan

I have, for I don’t even know how many years, been working on somewhat of an epic poem. In the .doc file, it’s 50 pages thus far (that’s right, I’m not finished by a long shot). That being said, it is double spaced. Not trying to make it seem longer, I just think it reads better that way. The problem, however, with a poem such as this is that it is difficult to find all the spots where I have repeated myself. Although I do appreciate any feedback, the most helpful comments would point out any instances of repetition that I have missed. Above all else, though, enjoy.

i am

by jason alan


. . . . .

i am the street you cross

when you are lost

i am the feet

that click upon the concrete

the leather shoes

cracking from the heat

i am the clouds that cover the sun

the loud noises of fun

the shroud that covers your son

i am the bullet wound

the pain

the gunfire that reigns

i am those lonely nights

those peaceful days

tranquility, zen

the shiver down your spine

that fear of waking up again

and again

i am metaphor muses

simile smiles

the desert that spans many miles

i am hunger




the song of a bluebird

the knife in your chest

i am the lullaby

soothing you to sleep

i am flesh tearing

a wound so deep

i am the tears

that flow from your eyes

a wicked smile

a thinly veiled disguise

i am the spark of creativity

the fuel of longevity

poetic license

twisted justice

i am cold, hard logic

an unending stream of static

white noise

black clouds

a toy in the rain

making unholy sounds

the brick and mortar

the gale that tears it all down

i am the butterflies in your stomach

and what you learn from it

the stars in the sky

the mote in your eye

i am misplaced anger

a baby in a manger

a badly worded email

the devil in the details

i am asia minor and labia majora

nick and norah

the bible, the torah

the astral plane and cellophane

the love of a child

the eyes of the insane

i am the buzzing of a chainsaw

powerful, raw

the twinkling of wind chimes

the anticipation of end times

i am the eye of the storm

the horn of the unicorn

the light at the end of the tunnel

the beer flowing through the funnel

i am the petal, the flower

the rose and the tower

a heavenly punt

a demon’s cunt

i am a joke that kills

an orgasm that thrills

i am torture


horror and disbelief

i am here, a bird’s song

i am nothing

i am gone


. . . . . .

i am a killer and a healer

a junkie

a dealer

i am a plague

in an eighteen wheeler

i am apps and maps

mudhoney and mud flaps

the train, the tracks

on your arm

the heroin, the harm

i am the the serf, the gnave

the daisies on your grave

the way of the gun

gone with the wind

the wound that won’t heal

the words you cannot rescind

i am the raving of the blind

a stitch in time

those murderous thoughts

in the back of your mind

i am a joker, a fool

a goblin, a ghoul

the right way to do it

with the wrong sized tool

i am juxtaposition

a man on a mission

contrarian lies

control, contrition

i am net neutrality


a shooting gallery

a government workers’s salary

i am rays of hope

lines of dope

trying to cope

and dropping the soap

kicking and screaming

silently dreaming

i am the pot

calling the kettle steaming

the yin

the yang

wang dang

sweet poontang

i am far

i am near

i am twelve steps

from the edge of fear

fingers and toes

sisters and bros

a rotting apple

broken windows

i am two girls

i am one cup

i am going down

when down is up

i am confusion

reality distortion

twisted twilight

aboriginal abortion

i am engines

powering flight

the valley of the blind

a beautiful sight

i am false dreams

crooked smiles

streams of consciousness

rivers of denial

the tip of the top

the cream of the crop

the handle of the mop

the flip without the flop

getting loose, a silly goose

dr. seuss and chocolate mousse

i am the youth gone wild


dip trip

flip fantasia

a maid in manhattan

made in china

a whore’s breath

a virgin’s vagina

i am a nurse

in the back of a hearse

a mayan curse

a pilfered purse

i am the rooster

the chicken

the egg

a sleeping lover

farting on your leg


. . . . . .

i am one

as you are three

a smashed pumpkin

a fallen tree

i am a bad moon

on the rise

the lord of the rings

the lord of the flies

i am toys in the attic

radio static


fully automatic

i am the best of times

the worst of times

a case of corona

without any limes

the prince of perversia

twisted and shady

in the heart of suburbia

a loose morals lady

a lowly pauper

a tub stopper

a pill popper

a flipper and a flopper

a jizz mopper

cindy brady, cindy lauper

i am a rave and a rant

a million i do’s

a single i can’t

adam ant

moving a rubber tree plant

i am sonnets and couplets

making love

having quintuplets

a push and a shove

crazy like a fox

crazy for the fix

changing the locks

and changing my kicks

i am leaving las vegas

crossing jordan

screaming jesus save us

from ourselves, from boredom

i am bridging the gap

over troubled waters

giving to charity

and your other daughters

i am the face of evil

debunking, debasing

facebook, facetime

open faced, defacing

i am criminal minds

criminal intent

late for my period

late for the rent

i am the rapture

a failed capture

natural disaster

the failing of napster

i am raindrops

falling on your head

the winter of discontent

the dawn of the dead


. . . . . .

i am ishmael

i am the whale

for want of a shoe

for want of a nail

i am steep inclines

dressed to the nines

amanda bynes

active land mines

i am riboflavin

a voyeur’s haven

a fair maiden

who is melancholy laden

and freshly shaven

i am midnight in the garden

of good and evil

robbing banks

robbie knievel

i am a planet without borders

restraining orders

i am pleased to meet you

thanks to google street view

i am sun in the morning

rain in the evening

beloved, belabored

beyond believing

i am crystal balls

and blue balls

who to call on the wall

of the bathroom stall

i am slipping in the tub

dying alone

the mortar and stone

of the funeral home

i am the wood of the coffin

they carry you off in

the relatives deceiving

the tears of the mother

the grave, the grieving

i am the crystal, the chronic

the bold, the bionic

i am eminem’s face cream

and dr. dre’s colonic

i am the smile of a starving child

the grimace of a madman

the grit of an ironworker

the guille of an ad man

i am sam and dianne

cliff and norm

the mouth of the river

the eye of the storm

a grain of sand

a grain of salt

a grain of truth

a wasted youth

i am surfing with the alien

chasing amy

running with the devil

directing raimi

i am high fructose corn syrup

sugar, splenda

no spin, no splendor

and no agenda

i am the choice

of your generation

defunct, declined


i am the motivation

of the self starter

the death of a terrorist

the birth of a martyr


. . . . . .

i am the trains

running on time

the needle in your veins

the smell of thyme

i am twitter

and a stripper’s body glitter

the things you think of

when you’re on the shitter

i am abstract

war and peace

a piece of ass for lease

a cuff and a crease

saying fuck the police

i am surfing with the alien

and driving miss daisy

3/4 moisturizing cream

1/4 crazy

i am stopping to smell the roses

riding the lighting

i lie awake at night

embracing the frightening

i am the 1st shot of tequila of the night

and the 15th that incites a fight

i am the fists that brawl

in a sea of alcohol

i am once bitten

twice shy

that one smooth cut

that helps you die

i am out for a penny

in for a pound

a shock to the system

a urethral sound

i am concentration camps

death rattles

a monk meditating

in the heat of battle

i am confrontation

the essence of fear

a baby’s cry

a mother’s ear

i am black sunshine

man’s first flight

maximum performance

piercing the night

i am the smell of lilacs

a murderous nun

and i swear that

i don’t have a gun

i am a highwayman

a sailor

a schoolboy

a jailer

i am the song that makes you cry

i am destined to fail

and learning to fly

i am a lake of fire

an empty shotgun

the heat of desire

i am the one


. . . . . .

i am blogs about hogs

legs on frogs

the bumps on the logs

the eggs in the nogs

i am last call at a bar

the winking of a quasar

the last breath of a dying star

the twinkling of a ka-bar

i am a warm embrace

in the midst of genocide

bright swirling colors

lysergic acid diethylamide

i am taking a break

giving a fuck

lending a hand

and wishing good luck

i am the spirit of vengeance

a blooming flower

the sign of the times

the shock of the hour

silent screams

maniacal laughter

the day before tomorrow

the morning after

i am the leaves that you rake

the icing on the cake

the wake and the bake

the steak and the shake

i am the noise you heard before

a knock on your door

a bleeding whore

on the basement floor

i am juxtaposition


watching television

in the fetal position

a wildfire, scorched earth

a funeral pyre, breech birth

i am a hieroglyph

a horse and carriage of plague

an ounce of prevention

a pound of rage

i am green pastures

blue skies

bitter scorn

sweet little lies

i am loose lips

sinking ships

pink slips

and nip slips

i am pi

an unsolvable riddle

the needle, the eye

the cat and the fiddle

i am the awkward laugh at a funeral

one headlight

righting a wrong

and wronging a right

i am a darkened road

a flying mushroom

an unbalanced load

the hand of doom

i am a tadpole

an actor in a role

a preacher in a strip club

an atheist in a foxhole

i am salt and pepper

a zesty zephyr

a fault and a faultline

the wounds of a leper

i am a plot

and a scheme

a red laser beam

a totalitarian regime

wrapped up in a meme

i am knowledge

the query, the quandary

mahatma gandhi

deep purple, blondie


. . . . . .

i am casting stones

breaking bones

drinking rum

eating scones

i am making scenes

kidneys and beans

stomachs and spleens

shaking fiends

the ends and the means

i am purely coincidental

the living and the dead

braking with a foot of lead

breaking bad and breaking bread

i am suddenly susan

cruisin’ for a boozin’

hitting snooze, missing

and bruising my cubans

i am grapes

great escapes

wine, raisins and dates

the tipping of the point

intertwining fates

reasonable rates

irrational fears

da bears


the queers

the steers

and the beers

i am wishing you well

the farmer in the dell

perfumed shower gel

alice and mel

i am heaven and hell

zooey deschanel

the northern lights

a southern belle

milky thighs

truth and lies

staggering lows

breathtaking highs

fruit filled pies

pigs and sties

welcoming hellos

heartbreaking goodbyes

i am deep brown eyes

glorious demise

white castle

five guys

covered in flies

breaking ties

with mutual sighs

i am the roots of the vine

the six and the nine

evolution of man

intelligent design

i am all creatures

great and small

the legend of zelda

and of the fall

i am babbling brooks

crannies and nooks

scandalous crooks

and lustful looks



inundated and nickel plated

masturbated instead of dated



technically faded

the bathtub, the warm water

the razor bladed

i am initiated

one fish made it

two fish baited

three fish celebrated

four fish assassinated


. . . . .

i am getting off, pulling off

jacking off, pushing off

pissing off and jumping off

trading off

with bernie madoff

i am stirred and shaken

a pan full of bacon

poorly constructed

sorely mistaken

loony and cryptic


a genius epileptic

a diplomatic dipshit

i am the wooden floor

hitler’s head

when the crib flipped

and hit it

i am a nitwit

i make your shins split

with a shine, a spit,

a wing and a limerick

i am the black boots

dirty with mud

i am the fire

smelting the swords

drying the blood

i am the warrior

i am the heart

i am the poet

the end, the start

i am politics

and i am broken

i speak for you

a pawn, a token

i am just a bill on capitol hill

a whiskey still, a corn mill

getting my fill and hard to kill

i am auditory and textual

alegory and intellectual

homogenized and homosexual

inflamed and inflectional


. . . . . .

i am the nurse and the doctor

the blades of a helicopter

killing you softer

marking twain and mark knopfler

i am fixed on the fascinated

indubitably inundated

chemically castrated

confoundingly conflagrated

i am three blind mice

covered in lice

naughty and nice

making a list, checking it thrice

i am the hunt for red october

sotally tober

i promise ociffer

i wasn’t driving that rover

i am curiosity

i am the cat

a malevolent monstrosity

this and that, tit for tat

i am calling it a night

calling a black lab

calling you a whore

calling you a cab

i am the moment

when harry met sally

captain o’malley

kate and allie

ally mcbeal

let’s make a deal

medium rare veal

a vegetarian meal

a bargain, a steal

captain and tennille

reinventing the wheel

i am grosse point blank

a bitch and a skank

robbing a bank

smoking some dank


. . . . . .

i am raindrops on corpses

and whiskers on tigers

strong and weak forces

and bright copper wires

brown paper airplanes

tied up with strings

with all our names

written on the wings

i am cream colored beaches

crisp blue seas

naturally lubed sex

sliding with ease

i am girls in white thongs

with blue satin sashes

bowls full of hash and

colored beads for flashes

i am silver black winters

that melt into death

i am coming, i am leaving

that hot, sultry breath

a wild eagle that perches

and sometimes it sings

i am your most feared

your most favorite things


. . . . . .

i am aurora borealis

a solid gold phallus

a crystal meth palace

on the east side of dallas

i am rancor and malice

viagra and cialis


the looking glass and alice

i am dictators and fried taters

life savers and now & laters

investigators and alligators

figure skaters and broken escalators

i am relentless

memnoch in memphis

a spinster, a temptress

the string of a necklace

i am a journal

a linux kernel

maternal and paternal

richard gere, a suffocating gerbil

i am nature and nurture

frustration and fervor

a surfer, a server

a swimmer and a swerver

i am a slave pawing

a cave drawing

a rave cawing

the sound of metal sawing

i am starting fights

and stopping hearts

setting your sights

in fits and starts

a rejected kiss

mistletoe frustration


of this atrocious nation

potholes and assholes

los angeles manholes

carolla and kimmel

jack stands and jackholes

starships and hardships

heart shaped boxes

parsley and parsnips

barter and bar tips

soft sells and hard flips

the diary of anne frank

the diaphragm of mel blanc

dixie cups and dixie chicks

superman and mister mxyzptlk

getting your kicks

on route sixty-six

i am dragging the line

a stitch in time

splitting the tracks

shifting the rhyme

i am lap belts and lap dogs

beaver pelts and leap frogs

meet the fockers and meat logs

demon hands in deep bogs

i am luck

fate and karma

greg and dharma

shooting stars

thor eating shwarma

i am clickable links

kitchen sinks

sex addicted patients

banging their shrinks


. . . . . .

i am to be continued…