A small but important gripe to Apple, Inc., regarding iOS

by Jason Alan

My computing experience began in the early 90’s, when the monitors displayed either white or green text, and they weighed in at roughly the same as a hippo in its toddler stage. Even the most advanced computer back then was not much more than a hybrid of a typewriter and a calculator, and more valuable than printer cartridges. I would have, in the past and perhaps now but in a different article, said more valuable than gold, but have you seen the price of printer toner lately?

Regardless of prices, or sizes and my meandering quips, if you are living in even a semi-civilized society, it is plain to see that we have come a long way since then. I could literally write volumes about how many things you can do on devices that fit neatly into your pocket. That high quality camera you hold is the same device that allows someone to communicate by voice, text or video to another person who is literally on the other side of the planet. And for free, by the way. The same device that has games and allows you to view thousands of pictures and listen to thousands of songs. At the same time. Speaking of time, you can get that, too, all over the world, along with the news, the weather and a basuperjillion other things you can do with these awesome computing devices. And speaking of writing volumes, I could also write said volumes using that same iDevice. Preferably with a bluetooth keyboard instead of the slower method of tapping on a touch keyboard, but I think you get my point.

Doesn’t sound like much of a gripe, does it? Well, I haven’t gotten to that yet. My problem is simple, but it does necessitate some setup. Ergo, my blatherings. With all these genius ideas going into a device such as an iPhone or whatever iDevice one may use, there should not be so many WHAT THE FUCK moments. Mainly speaking, popups.

Apple, in particular those who develop the iOS operating system, I beg of you, I plead with you, I am metaphorically on my knees here. Stop with the popup messages already. Just stop. One of the characteristics of Windows that I detest so much is how many times I have to click some bubble telling me something not only that I already know, but have known for years. JUST STOP IT!

A tiny bit of info in addition, just to better put this into proper context. I have owned 2 iPhones and 3 iPod touches over the past 4 years, and I have used one, the other or both almost every day since I got my first iThing. Consequently, I am, as you may have gathered, familiar with the operating system.

So, being familiar with it, and being a listener of podcasts, I go to the podcasts app. The one I was listening to was ending, so I went there to flip through the list to find the next one I would like to hear. And, I get this…

1

What kind of bullshit is this? I literally hate to overuse words but I literally had to go to the settings to put it on airplane mode, but iOS still feels the need to tell me that I did so. I know I did. I was there at the time. Literally.

But that isn’t all. When I went to the mail app, I was still aware that I had the device set on airplane mode, mainly, as you can see be the time at the top of the next pic, it was LITERALLY three minutes later.

2

But, apparently that information wasn’t enough. According to the genius programmers at Apple, Inc., I needed to know more, immediately after tapping that annoying first useless bubble of text to get it out of the way.

3

Thanks for letting me know that, even though I already knew that. Oh, another one? Gee, thanks Wally, said the Beav.

4

Occasionally I will email pictures to myself to save them. I also use Evernote and Dropbox and this blog, of course, to save pictures. In this post, I am demonstrating myself composing an email by copying the pics in the photos app and then returning to the mail app to paste them. Each time I do that offline, though, I am once again bombarded with these highly annoying popups.

5

You may say to yourself, why not just stay in the mail app and import pictures from there without going back and forth? It’s possible, and seems to be easier, does it not? Well, this may have changed recently, but as far as I know, when you do that, the mail app makes the pictures smaller, thereby decreasing the quality as well. I don’t want that. I want the photos to remain the same, bit by bit, as much as computationally possible.

6

The main point is, with all the iPhones, iPod touches, iPads and iPad minis that have been sold, hundreds of millions of people now use iOS. Therefore, there has to be at least a few million of us who do not want these popups. With all the very smart people working on this operating system, why have none of them thought of giving the users the ability to turn these off? It can’t imagine it would be very difficult to add that feature to the general settings.

7

That last one is my favorites of all, and I use the word favorite wholly sarcastically. As you can plainly see in the top left corner, I turned the wifi back on. But still, it gave me a popup anyway, even though it was actually wrong. It was just leftover from when I previously left the app. Wow. A residual popup. Fucking wonderful.

Even though I have probably gone way too much into this to demonstrate my point, it’s actually very simple. Either stop assaulting our nerves and insulting our intelligence with these popups, or at the very least, give us the option to turn them off. If that could be taken care of, it would be greatly appreciated. After all, there are many other issues I could be spending my time bitching about.