what post?

by Jason Alan

I guess since I claim to be an author, I should probably write about something. I got my Apple wireless keyboard working again with my tablet, so I might as well get a little geeky and give some tips. I recently got the keyboard for about 75 with tax, and the Samsung Galaxy Tab Lite for about 180. What’s good about this pairing (when they actually do pair, FUCK bluetooth is a real loser) is that you can use the keyboard for more than typing. There are keyboard shortcuts like command escape to put you to the home screen. Then from there you can hit the tab button to select an app and hit enter to go into it. Not all, but a lot of apps let you navigate with the tab button so you don’t even have to bother with that whole touching the screen nonsense. I mean, who has time for that, right? Ctrl A, C and V is cut, copy and paste just like on a Windows PC or a Mac.

If you do a little noodling and googling, you can find some others as well. I don’t want to bore you too much with my nerd rambling. I’d rather bore you with poetry. I’m odd, in case some of you aren’t aware, so I wrote something odd. However, I think it needs one more piece to be complete. I just can’t seem to think of anything. If you help me finish it, I will put it in my next poetry book (probably titled i, the wordsmith) yes, all lower case letters, since e.e. cummings is one of the few poets I actually like, and he is the first to be quoted. I’ll give you full credit for helping, of course.

C’mon, poets. Don’t let me down. Put on your thinking caps and give a fuck for my new, almost finished poem, Give A Fuck.

One day, Give A Fuck gave up
And headed to the bar
Met Give A Shit, and they fucked
In the back of her car
They had two kids
Give A Crap and Give A Hoot
Then she met Give A Damn
And gaveย Give A Fuck the boot
Once again, Give A Fuck
turned to the drink
Met Give A Lot
she gave him the pink and the stink

See? Told you I was weird. Finish it and make a blogger proud.

But wait, kids, that’s not all you get for your 4 easy affordable payments of $19.95 plus shipping, handling and groping! You also get a book recommendation. This is by an author that I believe only wrote one novel (I think a book of short stories as well), but it’s one of the very few I’ve been able to read more than once. I got it for five bucks on amazon after not having it for over a decade. Maybe I should get off twitter and instagram and facebook and whatever-the-fuck-else and actually read it, or maybe stop writing. Wait, that won’t happen until I’m dead. Au revoir for now, folks.